This past weekend I went to dinner with one of my dearest friends. We met at small restaurant in my neighborhood that serves the best hand tossed pizza and Serbian dishes. The restaurant is dimly lit with just enough music for us to talk candidly about the subject at hand without our neighbors hearing us. The martinis were half price and they started flowing immediately. Earlier in the week my friend sent me a text telling me that there were some MAJAH things I needed to be caught up on and because my life have been anything but exciting, I was all in. As soon as we ordered our first round, I blurted out excitedly "so what's been going on?"
This friend recently decided to start exploring different sides of their sexuality. They have always been attracted to the same sex and now want to discover their sexual orientation. Like, live in grey area. Living in the grey area means being able to sit comfortably in the delightful “in between stage” that is a mix of the black & the white, the yes & the no, the right & the wrong, the certain & the unpredictable.
Aha moment!!!!! See, I am a scrutinizer, an inspector, a lover of all things perfectly classified. I try to define the nature of every friendship, every emotion, every aspect of and in my life. In doing this, I can more simply weed out the things (people, mindsets, interests) that do not have a purpose in my life, the things that cannot be categorized. There is no grey area for me only black and white. In doing this, I feel I have more control.
I want to start embracing the grey moments in my life. In my career and my relationships. Let loose and have the courage to relinquish my control; appreciate the beauty in the unknown.
Just like a true friendship, my friend held a mirror to my face without knowing. Helped me to see the flaws in my ways without pointing them out.
Do you enjoy living in the grey area? Any suggestions for those of us who need to "let go" a little?
Oh and there will be Youtube tutorials coming soon. As soon as I find my camera or learn how to film properly on my DSLR.
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